Devon, The Lost Footage was lost for a reason. Throughout this film's four lazy scenes, Devon sucks cock, gets fucked and endures cumshots with about as much enthusiasm as a cord of wood on a rainy day. It doesn't help much that the film's only woodsman can't come to save his Calvin-Klein-undies-wearin' life. Not even once does Devon get him off. She gets bored giving him the final ten-minute long handjob that ends every scene and her gaze eventually wanders out the window or along the minute details of the ceiling until Mr. Can't Come is forced to pull on his own stupid penis. It's not really Devon's fault that she's an airhead. She looks good - who can argue with a decent nosejob and a big plastic set of titties - but, man, does she look vacant. A bit starry-eyed, definitely cute, but damn, she looks VACANT. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.
In her first "Welcome to Calipornia" scene, Devon services the CK boner in what can only be a hotel room. "Stand up. Turn around. Show me your tits," he bosses. It's not very exciting. Devon moves in slow-motion, like a sloth. Is it first-time shyness or is her brain the size of a chick pea? The only thing worth watching is the titty-fucking that follows a routine bout of sex (filmed in fun handicam style so you won't even be seeing much of Devon's face). Devon does her best to look pleasured, but even she can only fake excitement for, oh, twenty minutes. Finally a comeshot and I'll hand it to the guy, he can really blow his load. He usually overshoots his target by a solid five feet so explosive is his trajectory.
Scene two sees more of the same old shit. While it's interesting to know that Devon feels she's very plain without make-up, it sure as hell won't give you an erection. Devon proceeds to give CK man a rudimentary blowjob on the balcony of a hotel that overlooks a well-populated beach. Hmmm, oral sex to the sound of children playing in the surf. That's sort of funny, but not much else. This one is just a blowjob, no sex. Oh yeah, and Devon looks really bored...again. Devon and CK boy move to an urban highrise hotel for scene three in which Devon perfects her dumbfounded expression and lets her vag get stretched out before enduring, again, the looong wait for the comeshot. I really expected her to roll her eyes. It's all about as interesting as a chess match. Finally, Devon goes swimming in most of a bottle of baby oil and then CK boy titty-fucks her and jerks himself off on her chest. And that's it.
The DVD also contains 8 Devon-infested scenes ripped from other movies. I guarantee all of these are better than the feature presentation, but I'm not including them in this review because they would skew the results. I gotta admit, I don't know the true history of Devon, the Lost Footage. It claims to be Devon's lost pre-pornstar tapes. Whatever. If you're a Devon fan, check it out. Otherwise, leave it in the vault where it belongs.
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