by
Kris Kjorness
Sporting a plot that's bizarre even by porn standards, C-men finds 4 women dressed as cats out to destroy the world by turning men into teddy bears after they fuck them. That's what I got out of it anyway. And most of the guys are dressed as superheros and talk with gay voices. It's unfortunately not as funny as it sounds. Since this is a low budget Vivid movie expect poor acting and tinny sound. The female cast is rather disappointing with only 4 ladies total in the movie, two of them asian (three if Kira is asian). The sex is strictly vaginal and there's not even a lesbo scene to mix it up. The women make cat noises while they're having sex. And they all wear fishnet body suits and KISS style facepaint for the entire movie just to add to the bizarreness. After you fast-forward through the commercials that you can't skip before the movie (I HATE THAT!!!), you'll get to see Kira fuck Cheyne in standard fashion. The sex ends with a handjob which is nice for a change. Dale Dabone humps a cat girl in a bathroom - good blowjobbing, otherwise average. An asian cat girl works through a million positions with Steven St. Croix and then another girl does the same with another guy. I can't tell who's who because they all have the same lame KISS make-up (and the guys wear goofy masks). This one had potential. Somehow I really believe that. I like dumb porno plots but this one was just too...washed out. I guess couples might find this amusing but any couple out there can probably easily create some action that's twice as intense as what's on the screen. I rate this a 2.
Does C-MEN sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD
DVD Features Include: alternate angles | previews | tons of erotic extras | no regional coding
Running Time: 85 minutes | Production Date: 12-04-2001
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 4192 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 10-27-2003
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