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YOUNG AS THEY CUM 14
YOUNG AS THEY CUM 14

-from New Sensations/Digital Sin

Rancho Rating: ***
Director: Tyrone Shuz

Starring: Ben English, Brooke Milano, Christie, Holly Day, Julian, Mark Ashley, Mr. Pete, Sarah Sinn, Tyler Houston

3 kleenexes
Scooby Doo - A XXX Parody


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by Sleazegrinder

Don’t freak out, man. Young as they LEGALLY cum, they mean. This one is fulla supertight young stuff that musta got lost on their way home from the prom. As I couldn’t have gotten more then a derisive sneer from chicks like this when I actually was 18, never mind almost twice that, it was with snarky satisfaction that I watched these wayward teens get messily defiled. I mean, it’s only fair, right?

Nothin to explain that the title doesn’t, so here’s the cheap, fast, and sleazy rundown:

Christie is a supercute freckle-faced debutante who looks exactly like this chick that kicked me in the nuts in gym class in the 10th grade. Much like that evil bitch, Christie’s kinda nuts. The trance-y masturbation scene at the beginning (complete with a machine-gunning trip-hop soundtrack), does nothing to prepare you for the loud, screamy, sport-fucking to come. A very pneumatic scene here- pretty bitchin’, although I’m sure I woulda stuffed a sock in her mouth before I popped.

Half Asian covergirl Brooke Milano looks more like Michelle Branch than she does Alyssa, but there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Her fuck-style is a little half-baked, but she’s just a kid, ya know. She is as pretty as they come, tho, so take this one on aesthetic value, and leave yer cock in yer pocket for now.

Umm, Holly Day reminds me of that phase I went through, where I’d pick up fat girls at the Walmart, so let’s move on, ok? On exactly the opposite end o’ the scale, blonde bombshell Sarah Sinn is hotter then a Baghdad BBQ. The pigtails and the pink babydoll outfit helps, of course, but the tight body and the gorgeous face are truly sights to behold. The tiny tits work well in the ensemble, as well. She can’t fuck all that well, but neither can I, half the time. Sarah pretty much gets by on her looks here- as I’m sure she does in every other facet of her miserable existence- but if yer determined to strike oil when she’s on screen, I’d say her especially slurpy blowjob is this scene’s standout.

Tyler Houston has big floppy tits and an equally big sloppy mouth, and she’s got ‘future-drug-mule’ written all over her, so grease up, Jasper. Her fuck scene actually ain’t all that nasty, but she LOOKS nasty, and sometimes that’s enuff. Like right now.

Umm, overall, I think they coulda pushed these chicks a little further up the sleaze scale, cuz they’re all pretty demure, ‘cept for Christie. Still, they really do look authentically young, and that counts for plenty. Just be nice if they pump up the volume a little for number #15. Maybe slap their tits around or threaten to call their mamas before the cameras roll. Something like that.

Does YOUNG AS THEY CUM 14 sound like it's right up your alley?

While we get that in stock check out other Porno flicks like it at our General Store.


DVD Features Include: chapter search | photogallery | trailers | web trailer


Running Time: 98 minutes | Production Date: 09-10-2003

Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 5514 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 01-07-2004


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