by
S.O.S. (Scrotum of Steel)
OK, here we have Snow Sluts. I'm down with snow sluts. It is the season after all. Not that every time I go snowboarding it ends in a DP. But for the merry snowboarding gents of Privateland it does. Every scene here ends in anal of some sort, even the lesbo one. The movie takes place somewhere in the mountains where the snowboard instructors get busy fucking their pupiles. There's some great outdoors in the snow shots but only one scene, the second to last, takes place entirely out in the snow. The girls are all blonde, no exceptions. Many of them look like they could be sisters. The music is a little hokey, but it doesn't really matter. There's no decent snowboarding on the DVD even though the actors do look like they do their own stunts. I'm not familiar with any of the girls really even though some of their names sound familiar. None of them are dogs. They're not really my type of chicks but if you're into blonde, sorta European, sorta Scandinavian types then you've hit the jackpot, my friend. Most of the chicks get topless and made out with outside before moving into a cabin or spa for the fucking. Sometimes the English voiceovers are pretty bad, but it seems like most of the movie is originally in English anyway so it's nothing to worry about. I'm not going to bother with the scene breakdown. They're all the same with a few exceptions. It goes blonde girl, guy, oral, vaginal, anal, comeshot. The number of guys and girls in each scene is a variable - from a foursome with 2 guys, 2 girls to the final scene with one chick and 4 dicks (all the dicks lay down on the table for a dick-sucking line..very funny). The only real exception is scene 4 which is three ladies licking in the poolhouse. They also use a double dildo which ends up in cornholes and such. There are lots of extras. Most humerously the "Fuck Me" clip, which is one of the Euro girls dirty talking to the camera in rather stretched English (granted she speaks English a lot better than I speak her native lanaguage) and the bloopers where they try to teach one of the girls to say "I want to suck cock" and fail miserably. I give this a 3.5. Slightly above average.
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Running Time: 90 minutes
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 5316 to read this Rancho Review. DATE POSTED: 03-01-2004
Reader comments
TorontoPornFan (Smut Fan) says: I saw this movie in the only porn theatre in Toronto, so I got to enjoy this on a large screen with a great surround sound system. I did some research on the girls, and it turns out that all of them are Czechs, and they are all smoking hot. The previous review had it right-- the one-on-one scenes all followed the same formula (brief blow, pussy fucking, anal fucking, followed by very gooey cum shots in the mouth. The music was alright, but the grunting of the male actors was kind of annoying.
TorontoPornFan gives this movie 4
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