Weirdofornia governess (well, almost) Mary Carey plays herself and her snooty (yet equally sleazy) twin sister in a flick that apes 'Fight Club'. I mean, I think it does, but I really couldn’t pay much attention to the plot for more than 30 seconds at a time. Anyway, I think the important thing to point out here is that in the first scene, Ariana Jollee fucks this big-dick summbitch who’s supposed to be retarded, and the dude keeps up the ‘slow’ act- which he appears to have picked up from the “Special Ed” puppet on Crank Yankers- for the entire scene. Granted, the retarded among us deserve having their balls sucked just at much as everybody else, but, uh…well, Ariana’s convincing him that her well-worn man-trap tastes like candy and he’s drooling and going “I like candy! Ee-ya!” And it’s all pretty fucking DISTASTEFUL, man.
Umm, plenty other porn-starry stuff happens too- Mary and Lauren Phoenix double-team some dude, Cytherea almost gets her fillings knocked out by an overzealous penis, and lithe charmer Fallon Summers is as foxy- and committed to cream- as ever, and it’s filmed in warm bright colors, and razor-edited for maximum hard-onism. Oh, and even if she’s got a double-chin, Guv Carey’s tits are AMAZING, which is probably the whole selling point. Good stuff all around, ‘cept for scene one’s bizarreness. I shudder to think what Jollee is gonna end up fucking next.
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DVD Features Include: animated chapter index | bloopers | digitally remastered for dvd | photo slide show | playable worldwide | sex menu
Running Time: 120 minutes | Production Date: 07-12-2003
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 3423 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 03-06-2004