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YESTERDAY I WAS SEVENTEEN
YESTERDAY I WAS SEVENTEEN

-from Red Light District

Rancho Rating: ****
Director: Carlos Safado

Starring: Bianca Biaggi, Camilo, Carlos, Carmen, Cindy, Dara, Gustavo, Katia, Kid Jamaica, Lucimar, Marcelo, Troy, Wagner

4 kleenexes
Scooby Doo - A XXX Parody


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by Ack Ack Chewahwah

I'm normally not such an evil bastard, but I loved the concept on this one. You get 6 young (and blessed-be they are YOUNG) Brazilian girls who parade in and show you their birthdates on their IDs and then a paper from that day to confirm that indeed they're turning 18 on the day the movie is being filmed (yeah, yeah, you could fake all this but who cares). These girls are young and lanky with kiddy titties and nervous demeanors - all you super perves who've been tired of all the "teen" movies you've been plowing through will find some paradise here. Even better: the girls lay there like they're dead while the guys fuck them! That's a good thing, right, freaks? It don't matter that the girls aren't very good in the sack, they're young and that's what's going to sell this DVD.

The girls are all Brazilian apparently and exotic in their own bizarre ways. Bianca, the cover girl, is A LOT hotter in the movie than on the cover and with her dark-haired friend she gets it on with some dude. She's hot, she's young, she's spanish. Her friend says "Hhright der!" a lot when she gets it in the can. Nice.

Dara is thrilled to be alive. "Today is my birthday," she says forlornly into the camera. A black man is her birthday present. Lucky her. Vaginal from what I saw. Next we have Carmen. Blonde, 2 inches-deep anal and some other stuff. After Carmen it's Cindy, another great skinny, leggy, lanky teeny chick with a broken tooth and interesting complexion. Like freckles or something. She only winces once and then lays there hoping the bear will pass her over for something more alive. Doesn't happen.

The movie finishes off with Lucimar, a wacky black chick and Camila who has long dark curly hair. She's young. Her man is hairy.

So, I give this a 4. Great concept. They should do this shit in America more often. Then they wouldn't bring back the HIV and infect everybody. Not that the HIV lives in Brazil. I bet it vacations there though.

Does YESTERDAY I WAS SEVENTEEN sound like it's right up your alley?

While we get that in stock check out other Porno flicks like it at our General Store.


DVD Features Include: photo gallery | bonus footage | behind the scenes


Running Time: 138 minutes | Production Date: 10-22-2003

Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 4910 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 04-27-2004


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