Ack Ack Chewahwah
Blah, it's kinda hard to review porn this week with the HIV fun-o-grams making the communal penis and vagina circuit. And watching a Red Light flick where at least one of the guys is quarantined isn't going to help. Nor does it help that in this movie you get to see plenty of uncondomed quick-switching sex with sweaty hispanic slopbuckets that may or may not be crawling with the bugs. Who knows.
What you get here is 6 scenes of latina girls having sex with one or two guys. For the most part, you'll get real no-cheese-on-my-taco-please latinas though some of them, like Haley, seem to stretch the term even though, yeah, they know how to respond to "Como se llama" or whatever. There are no subchapters in this movie which makes it hard to skip to the comeshots. Aside from that, most of the video work is good and puts your little ass in the hotseat.
First we've got Brooke Milano, who pretty much highlights ever movie she sticks her cute moonface in as far as I'm concerned. She starts off with an awesome plaid outfit and ends up spread over a chair in white nylons. She's not the hottest performer around but she looks nice. Vaginal sex. Then there's Cytherea whose urethea can't help but piss all over everybody like usual. She screws Ben English and some other dude for decent effect inculding the trademark "I'm coming!"/piss on the camera-man stunt.
Haley is third. She's got big lips, big teeth and takes a big load to the face from her partners after getting ground around like a tartish Fiona Apple (is Fiona Apple already a tart? Hmmmm.). Then we get into the real latinas, er, lahtinas. We've got Ana Everjoy, sweaty Lena Julliett and Argentinian Eva. There aren't a whole lot of highlights but there should be something in there to get you off inculding a lengthy DP for Eva in the final scene.
So, there you go. I give this a 3. It's starting to feel like a cop out to give these movies 3s but you know, this is a 3. It will have you chopping wood eventually but it's not really any different than anything you've seen up till this point. And don't watch it during HIV sweeps week, OK?
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DVD Features Include: photo gallery | bonus footage | behind the scenes | trailers
Running Time: 139 minutes | Production Date: 09-18-2003
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 3287 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 04-21-2004