by
Sleazegrinder
Man, Pirate Fetish Machine, despite it's nonsensical, Japlish sounding title, is like, the BEST porn series ever. It's insane. All the entries look like heavy metal videos gone mad, with leather, latex, explosions, blood, puffs of green smoke, giant eel-like dildos, killer rabbits, kung fu, and zombie attacks. Well ok, I made a couple of those up, but just replace the fake ones with hot,dripping Euro-sex, and you got the picture.
I have no real idea what "Baroness Kinky" is about, despite seeing it like, 5 times already. Basically, it's a Rocky Horror Picture show cop (complete with a drag-wearing freak, albeit one in a gas mask), with three superhotties gettin' marooned, one dark night, at a creepy Scottish castle. And they get fucked, all night, by the ghosts. Ghosts? Maybe. Like I told ya, I don't really know what's happening, I just know I like it.
The showstopper is the opener, with two girls (Id's are not happening, unfortunately)in identical school girl outfits lezzing it up, until Mr gasmask fucks them both in the ass. It's amazing.
Actually, maybe it's the G/G scene with the two giantess blondes. Or the goth chick's ass-ramming. Those are all boss, as well.
Then there's all kindsa weirdo shit, like the adult baby dude, and the chick running a pizza cutter all over a fat guy's chest, but what do you expect from Baroness Kinky, right? Anyway, those bits are better for shocking yr pals with then gettin' yr rocks off (unless yr a fetish hound), but what the hell. The first half an hour will drain you so fully, you might never get to the horror-themed second half.
I swear, if I was gonna make porn movies myself, they'd look like this. This is as rock n' roll as fuck flicks get.Recommended.
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DVD Features Include: direct access to chapters | dvd-rom compatible | fully interactive menus | parental lock | stereo sound | subtitles
Running Time: 80 minutes | Production Date: 11-05-2003
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2944 to read this Rancho Review. DATE POSTED: 10-13-2004
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