by
Crack-Addled Octopus
Private's Superfuckers 10, titled Non Stop Sex, starts out on a rather bad note. Hairy sasquatch and director Pierre Woodman unveils his fuzzy glory as he humps a poor young thing. Lena's her name and she's a hottie, make no mistake. Lena doesn't much like getting reamed from top to bottom by an ugly old bald guy and to add insult to injury, she refuses to even get the Pierre off. Not that I blame her, but starting off your porn movie with the director not being able to come because the girl is pissed isn't so great. To make matters worse, for most of this first scene there's an absolutely awful voice-over intoning funny things like, "Her most concealed hole was opened up and tempting us with latent promise of conquering it." Verbatim dialogue there. Best of all, as Lena sprawls on the bed, her buttcheeks pulled wide apart: "Lena exerted herself to the maximum to show us her aptitudes." Aptitudes? What? What about her gaping asshole?
Anyway, the narrative drivel will follow you throughout the movie like a rank smell, but luckily it's not as pervasive as it is in that first scene. All said there are six more or less watchable scenes of group sex. Three-ways, four-ways, even (gasp) a five-way. I started to get a little sick about half-way through this movie. I've been watching a hell of a lot of porn since I started reviewing here at the ranch, but somehow this flick really struck me. Swapping bodily fluids so frequently, these people must have all sorts of awful things growing in them. I know that's nothing to think about watching porn, but once you get an eyeful of some of the beaten junk on display in Superfuckers 10 I think you'll agree.
The ladies overall are hot, bothered and European, of course. Most of them get their asses brutally spanked while their getting their holes juiced. During the big spiked-collar five-way, the ladies end up with their asses blistered bright red. We're talking welts here, big time. If that's your ticket, consider it punched. Other highlights include Aliza's marvelously battered bunghole; you can nearly see through it into her stomach.
Where there's the good and the ugly, there's also the bad. The Euro-dudes presented here bust some seriously weak nut, when they get around to it at all. In a couple of scenes, there's some guy there with a limp dick who never gets off in the end. And what's up with these guys - do they tan their nuts or what? Again, must be a European thing. Also, there's no music, not a stitch...and the group sex disease spreadin' bidness, but for most of you out there I'm guessing that won't bother you at all.
So, decent porn, but nothing stellar. Watch out for the poetic voice-overs. Those things will kill you.
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Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 3988 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 04-25-2002
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