by
Buff Punzlif
This video struck me very close to home – it pulled on my heartstrings, if you will. The stars were playing poker! That shouldn’t have been a surprise, as this special 18th edition of Barely 18 was dubbed “Poker Night,” but I was so eager for nudie pictures that I failed to read it on the full-photo cover of the Sin City release. For a second, the plot made me feel really good about myself, because none of the young hung men could play a lick! Starlet Angel Felon said “I only have a pair of twos,” to what her goofy fuckbuddy replied “Really? ‘Cause I got two pair myself.” What a maroon! Unless they were kidding, which is impossible because we are talking about a porno, folks. But I wont be so fast to sell them up the river…Guys with bitches as hot as the six on this DVD must know a thing or two about a thing or two. I was ready to learn.
The first scene introduces Sarah Blake as a pizza delivery girl who drops her pie on the front stoop of an orgified game of cards. The guy lets it slide if she lets him slide, and she gets on her knees for the start of something beautiful. Most of the fucking is some variation or another of the reverse-cowgirl concept, and – while the camera fails to often capture the sweet looks of pleasure on Sarah’s face – it does keep her wet ass and pussy in close view at all times. She cums multiple times on this guy’s massive dong, and the scene ends in a thick facial.
Next we go back to the aforementioned Angel and her poker match. She loses yet again to the goof, and – since it’s strip poker – she gets naked. Well, mostly naked: she wears a loose top draped around her belly for the duration of the chapter, of course. Equally of course, she lets him go down on her bald pussy and soon lets him fuck her entirely. From the sound of it, I can tell you she loves every second, lying in the white wicker chair with his thick pecker there. Rhymes aside, it’s a good scene, and my favorite in this collexion (mah’fucker has a Super Soaker down there!).
At another gambling station in the same house, one girl leaves and another comes in yelling at her boyfriend, calling him a “piece of shit gambler” and all kinds of other hilarious nonsense. This faux redhead, the Canadian Patricia Petite, sounds like a deaf person when she talks. It’s absurd to say, I know; and correct me if I’m wrong, people. But listen to her! I mean, Jesus! Certainly the strangest French accent I’ve heard in ages, or ever. Getting on with it, the argument-turned-sex quickly threw off my mental chains, and thanks be that her accent didn’t carry over to her fuck-noises.
Denice Klarsov, having been the exiting girl mentioned in the previous paragraph, wanders about the sidewalk ‘round back of the den, and a stranger comforts her empty purse and her empty vag at the same time. When does a cowgirl become a missionary? When this newfound emissary of dick gets a hold of her slit and wholly spears it, that’s when. But the scene is varied and fun, and Denice’s rack is pure and natural. Milky white meets pale white, and the movie takes us to the final festivities.
The big denouement features sexy Jasmine Byrne and Lea in a threesome with a ripped, white stallion of a man. These bitches must have been hungry enough to eat a horse, 'cause that’s precisely what they do. There’s tons of oral between all members of the party, but – contrary to the previous themes of the movie - no anal here. That doesn’t stop our main man from getting his freak on with his giant, bent boom(erang)-stick; and the girls lap up every bit of what he has to offer. Roll credits. Finally!
Overall, this is a well-produced porno. The packaging is, as my friend Apesternicus would love to tell you, VERY succinct. The menus are easy and rich, the multitudinous features are first-rate. Photo galleries, interviews, text bios, trailers, and more await whosoever dares open the chic(k) case.
I only wish they’d have called the thing “Poke Her Night” instead.
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DVD Features Include: behind the scenes | bios | full motion menus | hot shot button | interviews | photo gallery | pop shots | sex talk | sin city profile | talent interviews | talent profile | trailers | widescreen
Running Time: 103 minutes | Production Date: 03-03-2005
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2838 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 07-02-2005
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