"Welcome back to the late, late double-feature. In a few moments, we will return to our exciting double-feature 'Godzilla Attacks' and... followed by 'Godzilla Moves to Wyoming Because Japan is Just Too Crowded.' "
While his hosting narration isn't great, Lee Stone so opens Kickass' Honey We Blew Up Your Pussy 5. As size matters to women, so it matters to men; and they want their women with puffy pussies. The absurdly overpriced $129.99 pussy-pump from the big-time porn producer is in each scene, and the process of this gimmick (and gimmick porno) is essentially the same throughout: girl gets naked, puts modified, airtight, clear-plastic jock-strap-esque cup over pussy, pumps, removes, guy fingers and licks and fucks her jiggly junk. To better understand the simple concept, it's basically the exact same thing that happens to your mouth and tongue when you suck out the air inside the empty Coke bottle and hang it off your lips for a while. You know, how your face ends up all puffy and your mom sees you and freaks out for a minute and asks you all worriedly about what's happened.
So, on to the show. Of the featured cast, Kapri Styles is my favorite; but little slut Jersey Jaxin and starter Sandra Romain also perform well. Unfortuantely, the puffy result doesn't always last through all the sex, and much of the video is standard pornographic fare.
Good stuff if you're up for a change.
Otherwise, it's just a nudie infomercial.
Does HONEY, WE BLEW UP YOUR PUSSY 5 sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD Features Include: bloopers | previews | starlet bios
Running Time: 126 minutes | Production Date: 08-10-2005
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 1609 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 07-09-2006