This thing will get so many accolades it isn't funny, and no doubt there are terrific blow-by-blow (pun intended) accounts of every freaking step of this vid, but one thing is becoming perfectly clear: Jules Jordan can throw 235 (or 12,000) minutes of smut at you, and it's not going to feel long. I don't know how he does it, but I hope to see a lot more of this kind of shit.
It's heavily advertised that this is Julia Bond's "first assfuck," and normally I don't really give brownie points for this sort of thing, but Jordan talks a nice game through the tease, walking around the pool, oiling the ass up--it's 18 minutes before she has her mouth wrapped around his cock. He rims her asshole, and it's like two long lost friends tasting each other for the first time in years. Loved the 69ing with her on top, and the frame-stealing cowgirl, as well as the anal doggie, A2M, and piledriver with fingers in her pussy. There's some more anal doggie before Jordan pulls out to spraypaint white lines all over that precious. Almost fifty minutes and I may have broken my wrist.
Shit. A hurt wrist and here comes Annette may-the Schwarz be-with-you. A quick rehab session later, and I'm ready to endure her asshole getting rimmed inside out, and her ridiculous, hungry, slobbery deepthroating. Did I mention she can get the balls in too when she deephthroats? That's worth noting. She also trombones (rimming plus handjob from behind) before getting into the rough nitty gritty of mish, doggie, cowgirl, anal in all variations (She spews, "I can feel your balls on my fucking clit," as he slams up in RCG), A2M, you name it. The load? Would she take it anywhere but in the mouth? As long as this whole double-disc package is, I wouldn't have minded more attention paid to the postcum sucking she plants on Holmes.
Other highlights include Alexis everything-is-bigger-in Texas's ass-teasing doggystyle (the real thing is good too) and subsequent buttcheek blast, Maya Hills's "It's in the hole!" pop, blond bombshell Gina Lynn's workwoman's attitude in cowgirl variations (grinds that thing to a nub), and Ebony Nikara's use of anal beads, facesitting and deepthroating prowess, and titfucking into the full-facial dismount.
It didn't feel like 235 minutes, but the physcial therapy for the wrist is gonna be a killer.
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DVD Features Include: 16x9 anamorphic widescreen | 2 discs | cumshot recap | multiple chapter stops | no regional coding | photo gallery
Running Time: 235 minutes | Production Date: 05-18-2007
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 3394 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 2007-09-15