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I honestly don’t even know where to begin to describe the train wreck that was Internal Explosions # 8. This was my first glimpse of what Anarchy Films has to offer and I must say that I found myself wanting to do a few things, but jerking off wasn’t one of them. Granted, I don’t usually get off on amateur action, but I didn’t realize that I would be watching an amateur production when I put this disc into my DVD player. I made one of the dumbest mistakes you can make in life; I judged a book by its cover. Sure, Melanie Scott is fairly new to the game, but I have seen her do such good work recently that I figured I could do no wrong. She made me feel confident that the nearly two hours I would spend watching this disc would be worth my while. She did this simply because she was on the sleeve.
The whole mess kicks off with a girl named Heidi Brooks. She is a blonde who has a great body and a nice face. She is wearing a short white miniskirt and before she starts the BJ we get a quick upskirt look at her fine rear end. What follows is some bad camera work as she begins sucking him off. Her sucking sounds can be heard as the camera remains focused on her ass. This would be a good thing if the angle wasn’t so terrible. After a few minutes the camera pans across her body and we see that the dude is having a difficult time achieving an erection. This made me feel sorry for Heidi because it looks like she can definitely suck a good dick. After she works it with all she’s got, he eventually gets to a good enough stiffness for the camera guy to give the couple the go-ahead to get into missionary. More bad camera angles are used as he only thrusts the tip of his average-sized doink against her snatch. It appears that she is having as difficult a time getting wet as her man did getting hard. This continues for just long enough to be annoying until reverse cowgirl time begins. Fortunately, some decent camera work is put to work here after she wisely spits a nice loogy across his cock before hopping on. We get a nice view of her enticing ass and pussy as she takes just a little more cock than she was when he was in control. We can barely see her mouth as she hops off and puts his cock into it and, again, shoddy camera work destroys any chance this scene had of being sexy at all. A short time later she hops back on for some straight cowgirl action. She rides it slow and sexy and then nice and hard and proves that she knows how to use her hips and that she has a nice tight pussy. They move into doggie after a good amount of time and now it sounds like she is having a good time. She doesn’t overdo it with the moaning, but she lets loose just enough to seem legit. We get some good shots of her body, which is very nice to look at. As they begin spooning her face can be seen, she seems unsure of herself as her eyes dart around behind the camera. According to IAFD she has only 17 movies to her credit. I imagine this was an early scene in her career and I can’t fault her for this.
Now we come (no pun intended) to the most insulting portion of the movie. Before this dude supposedly shoots his wad into her they cut away for no apparent reason and, once he pulls out, the substance that is left to leak out is the consistency of Elmer’s Glue diluted with a dab of water. I have never had a load like that leave my nut sack, nor have I ever seen a load like that in any porn movie I have ever seen in all the porn I have seen in my entire life. I instantly felt cheated. There is no other way to describe it.
Next comes the reason I chose this disc. Melanie Scott has a brown hair, a cute face, tiny titties, and a beautiful ass. Her blowjobbing skills don’t show the talent I have seen her exhibit in other movies so I assume this is one of her early scenes as well. She just seemed like a robot, that’s all. He returns the favor as he bends her over and rims her and gives her gash a work over simultaneously. It’s hard not to appreciate an ass like that as he goes to town with his tongue. Cowgirl starts off with an extreme close-up that lasts far too long until it fades to a wider shot that pretty much consists of nothing but his hairy assed left leg. This is followed by a shot of her face which is obstructed by some kind of obnoxious houseplant. What the fuck is going on with this camera man today? You got to time your drugs, buddy. That’s what Tom Petty says, anyways. They move on to reverse cowgirl which starts off with a nice close up. They use a wider shot and you can see that she is working it pretty well, but she isn’t doing anything that is particularly sexy. A look at her face reveals that she is preoccupied by the goings on behind the camera. There is another good close up as she slows it down and grinds into him in a more sensual way. Once again, the money shot seemed completely bogus and it completely ruined the entire scene which didn’t have all that much going for it to begin with.
Now we get another Heidi, but this girls last name is Sin. She has dirty blonde hair with a jewie face and a nice pair of natural knockers, but at first it seems she has a bit of a tummy. This scene, unlike any of the others on the disc, begins with an interview. She reveals that she is 27 years old and this is her first scene. She seems a little apprehensive, but she tells the woman behind the camera that this is one of her fantasies and that the human body is a beautiful thing and blah blah blah blah blah. She also blew her boss for a raise one time which gets her points in my book. This was her first day on the job, so I feel bad giving the following review, but it just solidifies my disdain for the piece of shit this DVD is. I trust the good people at Rancho Carne to refrain from posting this if I happen to go to far here. She removes her clothes and the first thing I noticed were some of the most severe tan lines I have scene this side of 1992. Good Lord! For most of her BJ, much like the girls before her, was somewhere other than into the camera or into her studs eyes. They start with reverse cowgirl and from the get go we get a good idea of how poorly manicured this woman’s vagina is. It looks like they just pulled her off the street and didn’t even give her time to shower before calling out LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! They switch into regular cowgirl and it definitely seems like this chick likes to fuck and has plenty of practice in her 27 years. She has an ass like jelly which a dude like me can dig for sure. Things are about to take a dark turn very quickly as they move into doggie. The dude seems to be losing his hard on and it isn’t difficult to see why. Jesus, this chick could have at least wiped! As he forces his dick back in with the aid of his hand she is trying her hardest to be sexy, but she is way too unfocused to be real. In this position her boobs look fantastic as gravity pulls them down, but the stretch marks across her stomach are a bit distracting. They end up in missionary and there are only two words to describe what I saw: ROLL CITY. Another fake cream pie ends what may be the worst attempt at erotica I have ever scene.
I just wanted this movie to be over until I got a look at the next girl. Baby Jane looks like she could be Latina with very nice skin covering a beautiful body. Her face is equally beautiful. As I watched her masturbate in a pink bra and panties, a feeling of hope returned to my genitals. She teases with her fingers underneath her panties. It looks like she knows how to use her head, but I was unsurprised when more shitty camera work fucked it all up. From what I could see, she was very slow and sensual with it and her man had no troubles hardening up for her. She used a good combination of licking and sucking and kissing. She shows us her clam as she lies down and pulls her panties to the side while he begins to gently face fuck her. When he goes down on her the close up is a little too close and I found myself turned off by the sight of Baby’s gap. His unit keeps slipping out and he quickly comes up for more throat fucking. In cowgirl we get a nice look at her keister which looks like a wonderland to me. In reverse cowgirl he got her pussy gaping so bad that it looked like he could have fucked the hole she pisses through. Guess what? FAKE CUMSHOT!
Crissy Moon is an attractive brunette and she is a good choice to finish the disc off. I’ve seen her quite a bit recently and she always seems to be having a good time. She is using a laptop and having trouble checking her myspace page. Of course some dude walks in to give her a hand, but first he gives her the finger as he puts his hand up her dress. She isn’t wearing panties, but she seems surprised by his advances. This made me laugh. After using his thumb on her clit to her pleasure he gives her fat pussy a nice smack. Her head technique is both sloppy and hard. She is slobbering all over the place, but, once again, whoever is behind the camera has difficulty capturing this. In reverse cowgirl she goes at it just as vigorously and I was happy to see that her face is covered with slobber and her hair is sticking to it. I appreciate these little details. She has a fantastic body and her moaning seems legitimate enough. After she flips around for cowgirl we can understand how she got her last name. They finish off in missionary and a nice close up shows us how clean her butt hole is. I’m not even going to mention the fraudulent finish this time.
As a guy who enjoys porn and is particularly fond of creampie movies, I would suggest that you let this one sit on the shelf. Although there were some beautiful and talented girls, the fact that the cover boasts 100% creampies and delivers anything but that makes it hard to enjoy. I could have even gotten past some of its other poor qualities if not for that.
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DVD Features Include: chapters | trailers
Running Time: 108 minutes | Production Date: 08-13-07
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 1332 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 2008-09-20
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