by
Santa Cock
Brand New is a kinder, gentler Red Light District. Well, sort of. The girls are still treated like holes to be filled and posed but there's no anal or DP action in this title. As the name implied, Brand New showcases 6 newbies - some of these chicks have literally been doing porn for 72 hours or less. You know when you go to the supermarket and you ask how fresh the fish is? Same idea. There are a couple scenes that are just OK, but overall it's pretty good action. Red Light specializes in fullon hardcore groupness and you won't miss out here. Most of the time there are two penises for every girl. Which is OK because we all know that girls have 3 useable holes. Check the diagram on page 34.
Boo Dilicious is first. She's 18 and has little kiddie titties. Let's hope she doesn't get implants. And let's hope she gets nailed more off. She's hot. The men come in making snake noises ("Ssssss") as they rub all over Boo. Pretty soon it's Rotissere Boo between two rotating dicks. Brian Surewood is attached to one of them. Boo is not too stellar at servicing two dicks at once but hopefully she'll continue working on this skill.
Girl 2, Diana is good-looking and can't stop looking at the camera. Even when her pussy is full up like pimento-stuffed olive. Good doggy style here. Next is ebony Bambi Bliss and Joel Lawrence. I'm just not into black chicks but Bambi has very nice boobs. Her scene is a little disappointing though. Dat dick don't fit in dat hole. Try another hole. See helpful hints on page 194.
18 year old Melody seems nice. She's hispanicish and has grande titties with big ninnies. She gets satisfyingly railed. The guy's are kind of dickheads about the comeshot though. Gotta get the right camera angle for the AVNS, I guess. Adrianna Demarco (NOT Adrianna Sage) is also ebony. I skipped it. I'm guilty, sorry. And lastly Sativa has a strange name and some the strangest eyebrows you will ever, ever seen. For real. They look like commas. She makes good noises.
And so, the endless girl-go-round continues. You may never see these chicks again in a movie. Maybe that's the appeal. I give this one a 3.5. This format is starting to lack in originality for me. My mind needs stimulation, not just my dick. But I'll round it up because Boo really was delicious.
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DVD Features Include: photo gallery | jesse boner footage | behind the scenes | trailers
Running Time: 140 minutes | Production Date: 07-22-2002
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 6220 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 03-03-2003
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