by
The Smut Mutant
Gosh, who knew lesbians could be so mean? Actually, scratch that. Most lesbians I've met have been pretty mean. I still cling to my notion of Victoria's Secret-dressed lesbian love kittens but the longer I live the more I'm certain that most lesbians are mean, old and have bad haircuts. Now that I'm done alienating everyone, onward. (But does it really matter? How many lesbians are looking for trashy movies like this? Only striaght perverted men actually LOOK for this stuff).
So: mean lesbians. Briana Banks waddles into a bowling alley and gets gang-dildoed by a warrior group of bowling tramps. Oh wait, that's the second scene. The first scene is Briana and an aging blonde licking each other and then going for broke with the dildos on an office desk. It's OK. On to scene 2 (which composes the last 50 minutes of the feature). First there's a lot of talk about bowling shoes. Skip that part even if it is slightily funnier than the average Saturday Night Live skit.
About six chicks wearing "Violators" shirts violate Briana with about every tool in the violation handbook. They start off with some forced twat-licking and then proceed to strap-on dildo throat choking on our less-lovely-by-the-minute heroine. Then they sort of fuck Briana with a bowling pin. I say sort of because it never REALLY gets in there (how could it?). Really really big dildos do go in Briana though and it's a virtual machine fuck of about every vaginal and anal sex toy on the planet. At one point Briana's head is in the ball return while the sluts terrorize her pussy. Now that's entertainment.
All the while I'm thinking: Are these women ex-convicts? Because they sure look like it.
I don't know. I give this a 3. It amused me and it was hardcore for sure but there really wasn't any need for 50 minutes of pleasureless hammering, unless pleasureless hammering is your thing (mean lesbians, this means YOU!) Sound and camerawork are about what you'd expect, nothing more nothing less. With only 2 scenes you might feel a little left out of something even if that second scene does go on for ever and ever. By the way, this movie made me feel greasy. Like that feeling so specific to public-use bowling balls and bowling shoes: greasy.
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DVD Features Include: full length feature | subscene breakdown | autorepeat | behind the scenes | photo gallery | playable worldwide | bios | parental lock
Running Time: 90 minutes | Production Date: 09-15-2000
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 6812 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 03-14-2003
Reader comments
Deckard5254 (Smut Fan) says:
There seems to be several genres of lesbian porn. If you like the slick Vivid stuff (who doesn\'t?) you might find this to be a bit of a surprise. This film stars Penthouse Pet and star of several of Vivid\'s best Where the Boys Aren\'t films, Brianna Banks, totally going at it wth some harder looking lesbians. If you like to see pretty girls (OK, in the case of Brianna, a total 10+) getting thier brains fucked out by a group of eager lesbians then this could be your ticket.
Deckard5254 gives this movie 4
butthead (Smut Fan) says:
If it were guys gangbanging Briana in this movie, it would be the roughest, nastiest, and certainly hottest movie of her career. If you\'re one of the \'very few\' people who\'d love to see beautiful Briana Banks get treated like a bitch as these girls slap her, choke her, grope her magnificent fake tits, dildo her throat and make her gag, fuck her with a strap-on, DP her and even SPIT all over her, you\'ll LOVE this. But who\'d want to see that, eh? Hardly anyone. (*checks page views: 5,500! Yay!*)
butthead gives this movie 5
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