This cat Skeeter Kerkove is a complete and utter bad ass. He looks like he stepped right off the stage at a Circus of Power gig, and he's got the kinda rap that ruins women's lives forever ("Did you know cum is an anti-depressant?"). He's married (or whatever it is you call it in the herky-jerky porn world) to the gorgeous Bridgette Kerkove, and yet he still bangs various and sundry starsluts within an inch o' their lives for a living. Kids, you think rock stars are cool? Fuckin' Skeeter never even had to learn to play a guitar, man.
In ATM Love Machines, Skeet and his crew of heavy metal chainsaw motherfuckers tear through a bevy of ultravixens, forcing various holes open ever wider and basically reducing the sex act to messy werewolf ferocity. Some think this is loathsome exploitation. It is. Some think it's the future of porn. It's that, too. Most of all, it's just what it sez it is- an anal-centric orgy of hardcore (and that's hardcore in the Slayer kinda way, too) ass-to-mouth action, loaded to the tits with sideways glances towards about 666 different sub-fetishes along the way.
The script goes like this- dress up a fleshy little tramp in S&M tinged lingerie, have her strut around in wobbly high heels, showing off her generous ass as she smokes and scowls, then descend on her like a pack of hungry jackals, making sure to stretch her ass to wince-worthy 4 inch gapes. Spit straight into her colon a lot, make her eat yer dirty ass-dick a lot, and then, while she lies there dazed, cum drying on her face, her ass a sore and possibly bloody mess, stroke her hair and tell her she's beautiful. Evil? You bet. Just like Jesus told you porn was, baby.
Girls on deck: The Missus, Bridgette Kerkove, who's gotta mug on her so perfect it makes me wanna fuckin' cry; Lyla Lei, who's face might wanna make you cry for other reasons, but who's ass is a truly mesmerizing wonder; mega-slutty skinbag Crystal Ray (dig the weird gash in her ass cheek- yikes!), 18 year old Teutonic newbie Shayna Unight, who gets truly brutalized with butt plugs and sausage fingers and hammering penises (s'okay, tho. Skeeter explains to her that her ass is good for America, and she seems to understand his point of view. 'Course, maybe it's just a case of Stockholm Syndrome, but either way, she takes her damage-slammage pretty well, for a kid), and the rather insane Ciera Sage, who really seems to enjoy choking on cocks.
You just can't lose with this one, sinner. Mayhem, indeed.
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Running Time: 110 minutes | Production Date: 10-14-2003
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 6633 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 04-20-2004