PPV-Free 30 Minutes
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by
David Law
Fifth Element gives us "Whore at My Door Vol. 3" and they should be embarrassed. If Volumes 1 and 2 are anything like this, I'm in absolute wonder why anyone would continue to produce this series. It's usually my nature to find some kind of redeeming quality in a title even if it's very poor, but it's really hard to do so with this one. I have to say that this must be one of the worst adult videos I've ever had the displeasure of suffering through.
Oh, where to begin... let's start with the female talent. There is every combination of girl in this video. The opening scene starts out with two very cute girls found on the box cover, giving you hope for the rest of the dvd. Then it quickly deteriorates. Tyler Houston does a scene for this title, and she has a bit of a name and works relatively regularly for some good companies. While she is cute, her scene is awkward and boring. I've actually done a scene with Tyler myself, and can tell you that she's not the easiest of girls to work with on set and has very little enthusiasm for doing b/g scenes. This is evident here. Then we move on to Nadine who looks like a tranny. Nothing wrong with being a tranny, but when I watch straight porn I just don't want the girls to look like one. Now we have Honey Swallows who appears as if she may have started doing porn in her golden years. Close-up shots reveal the hands of what appears to be a 60 year old woman, and it's just not hot.
John Whoremonger is the only male performer in the video, which I don't have a problem with. The real issue is that he is distracting, has no personality that comes out, and isn't particularly good as a male performer. He's quite hairy and has his body-hair manicured into something that looks like a suburban lawn. His penis is kind of small which makes it difficult to get any good penetration shots, and they are indeed lacking in these scenes.
On a whole, the scenes are monotonous, awkward, poorly shot, boring, and sometimes gross. I can only plea with Fifth Element to spare us any additional volumes from this series. If this site offered zero stars, I would give it zero stars. Don't waste the money. Don't waste the time. And video stores... don't waste the shelf space. Terrible.
Does WHORE AT MY DOOR VOL. 3 sound like it's
right up your alley? While we get that in stock check out other Porno flicks like it at our
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Production Date: 04-21-2006
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 1093 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 2008-12-27
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